20 days to go!
NERVES setting in now. That number is the freakiest thing I’ve ever seen, fact.
I was an exam attendant last June, during the Leaving Cert then, and now that we’ve come full circle, l realise something. The boredom I felt last June during that job. I have never felt since. I’ve been run ragged since September. 1 hate being bored, but roll on days of absolute nothing!
It’s a bit worrying at this stage. Like, it’s less than three weeks away now. There’s only so many times you can try to calm yourself down before that just doesn’t work anymore, and you come very close to freaking out, ripping all those books to shreds and starting a fire for them in the backyard, pulling a total Britney on it.
I got there this week. I still have all my hair though. Think about it. I get up at 8am, spend eight hours in school, sometimes I have four extra hours of Maths every week. on top of drama classes, trying to eat and trying to sleep a normal amount…. I’m supposed to get eight hours of sleep a night. I’m lucky to get six. Because on top of studying and trying to get things done, my head screams at me when I go to bed that I should be doing more.
Maybe this is the ‘Breaking Point’ I was thinking about a few weeks back … This stress is actually tantalisingly close to making me throw something at someone. Everything’s winding down now, all courses done, you’d think that if anything, the pressure would lessen. But I have folder upon folder of notes, my brain hates me for doing this to it. I haven’t read a book in almost a year. My shoulders are actually nearly to my ears with tension, and five minutes lost have become a thing of torture.
I hate traffic, I hate walking anywhere, I hate eating and sleeping, because it loses me time. It’s actually not healthy. Five minutes just shouldn’t be so important. Unless, you know, you cross the street at the wrong time or something.
The Leaving Cert is driving me berserk. Well. Almost. The stress relief here every week is soothing. All my anger comes out in print. My keyboard hates me. We’re finished school tomorrow. Officially, at least. Unofficially, classes run to June. But wow! My last day. It will be perfunctory, unvaried, with a distinct lack of anything special. We’ll go to classes. and we’ll go home with a ton of heavy books and exploding heads. Way to have a bad hair day. It will be completely devoid of any celebration. Because what’s to celebrate? 19 days left? I think not.
Gotta go, have to make my lunch for tomorrow. Here’s a celebration; my LAST ever packed lunch!!